When your children are part the equation in a divorce, it can be hard to be reasonable and rational, especially when you believe that their wellbeing is at stake. Going through a divorce when you are having differences regarding what you believe is best for your children is an extremely upsetting and highly emotional process.
When you make decisions based on emotional upset, you can hurt your chances of achieving your child custody and parenting goals. If you lie about your spouse or about your own parenting, it is likely that you will be found out. Don't do it. Judges are smart, and they have pretty much seen almost every type of family law case there is. They will smell a lie and that will harm your credibility.
The judge is accustomed to a certain percentage of people who fabricate stories about sexual abuse, neglect, or alcohol or drug abuse. Embellishing or exaggerating is also frowned upon. The judge may wonder what else the person who lied is lying about.
Additionally, if you are lying, your spouse will likely be even more upset. You may simply be adding fuel to the fire, which can impact your children, who are already dealing with a loss that they had nothing to do with. And also remember, you are going to be forced by the court to co-parent with your children's other parent. If you are lying and they know it, it can be harder to co-parent cooperatively, which will hurt the wellbeing of the children.
There are occasions when one party will suggest a parenting time schedule that will certainly get rejected, thinking that if they ask for all the stars, they might get what they actually want, which is the moon, for example. It is far more useful and less costly to begin negotiations with what you actually do want. That means becoming clear on your custody goals, adding into the equation what is reasonable in the eyes of the judge and your spouse. Also, when you ask for something that is completely unrealistic, settlement negotiations can potentially completely break down, which means you will be heading toward a court trial, which is extremely costly and in most cases, leaves bad feelings for years to come. This won't help your children.
If you start out asking for what you want, but your spouse does not agree, it is useful to stay calm and focused on your long-term goals, rather than on retaliating by asking for unreasonable terms.
Contact Pfister Borserine & Associates
At Pfister Borserine & Associates, we have protected the rights of people across north Texas for more than 20 years. Board-certified in family law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization, attorney John J. Pfister, Jr. understands that every case is different and will take the time to learn the details of your situation. We will then carefully craft an individualized approach to help you get the outcome you want.