Some marriages are beyond repair. That's nearly always the case when there have been episodes of domestic violence in the relationship. Abusive partners can change, but they must want to change their behaviors and also be willing to do the therapeutic work, often for the long haul. Most domestic abusers aren't willing to alter their aberrant behavior because they use the lame excuse that their partners drove them to act abusively towards them.
It's impossible to make another person leave his or her abusive spouse, but if you or someone you know is being physically or mentally abused, the following information could be quite helpful.
Watch your computer tracks
Abusive partners are usually very controlling, wanting access to and authority over all aspects of their spouses' lives. That definitely includes monitoring computer usage.
With all of the cheap spyware programs out there, if an abuser wants to track your internet usage, with a few clicks, he can install undetectable software programs on your phone, tablet, laptop or PC. Some programs record the URL of every site that you visit. Still others log every keystroke.
Use secondary computers
It's practically impossible to completely erase your digital tracks, which is why even highly-skilled hackers get caught. If you are a survivor of domestic violence, you likely have learned to live by your wits. Be especially smart now.
Don't log into emails or social media accounts. Only visit attorneys' and domestic violence websites from safe computers, such as those located in internet cafes, universities, libraries or trusted friends' homes.
If you're putting an escape plan into place, don't leave digital clues. Those might include looking online for plane, train or bus tickets or calling friends who live in the location where you plan to flee.
Don't let your cookies crumble
If you don't know much about computers, you might not realize what cookies are and how they can reveal your digital footprints. When you visit a site, a tiny file is embedded into your computer that enables your device to remember passwords and other useful information. Retailers use your browsing history to tailor their ads to your preferences. It's no coincidence that if you browse "canoes" on Amazon, pretty soon your inbox will be full of deals on canoes from hosts of websites.
In that same manner, an abusive partner can learn that you updated an old LinkedIn profile or checked the price of plane tickets to Denver. Don't give your plans away.
Your family law attorney can provide you with the tools you need to escape your abusive life. That may include seeking protective orders against your abusive spouse, allowing you to make a clean break and start your new post-divorce life.