Keeping Your Cool in High Conflict Divorce

Conference Meeting

When you are dealing with high conflict in your divorce, it is critical that you get support for dealing with the big feelings that arise and that you have good counsel that can help prevent you from making decisions based on emotions and upset, rather than rational, long-term goals for yourself and your family.

Ways to Deal with the Anger

  1. Find Ways to Express It Outside of Court
  2. Vent your feelings, to a friend, in a journal, to a therapist, or another trusted person in your life.
  3. Take care of yourself during the divorce by getting a massage, doing things that you know you enjoy, and getting lots of rest.
  4. Make sure to exercise or do some other form of physical activity so that the trauma of the conflict does not stay stuck in your body. Exercise has been proven to help relieve stress, so you need a lot of exercise!
  5. If you feel completely overwhelmed, it's time to get professional help. Do that sooner rather than later, because the hurts and conflict will become exponential if you cannot find a way to deal with it differently.
  6. Meditate or try some other form of self-help that has been proven to help provide a calm, centered, grounded experience. Because you will definitely need all resources when you are going through high conflict like this.
  7. Remember, the situation is not forever. It will end. There will come a day when you look back on it all and it will be over.

Conflict in Divorce Can Blindside You

Going through a divorce, whether you initiated it or not, is a loss. It can bring up echoes in your psyche of all other losses that you have not resolved. You are essentially dealing with any other unresolved baggage from the past as you go through this divorce.

Sometimes, it can be hard for one of the divorce parties to make sense of the bitterness, lying, anger, or other difficult encounters that they are now having with their soon to be ex-spouse. Expecting an unreasonable spouse to be reasonable all of a sudden is a waste of time. It's more useful to get yourself the support and know that it's going to be a tough road, but that you will figure it out, with the help of a knowledgeable attorney and having clear end goals.

For some people it will seem like all you can think about is the divorce. Don't worry about that. This is common when people are going through an extremely stressful time. In fact, there is a lot at stake - financial stability, and if there are children involved, the best interest, as you perceive it of your children. The more you can offload your anger and upset about the conflict, the better off you'll be as you go through the process of divorce.

There are occasions when a high-conflict divorce pushes a person into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder syndrome. If you believe that you have been traumatized to this degree, there are therapies specifically designed to help resolve this sort of trauma, including EMDR and Rapid Eye Movement (REM) therapy.

Contact Our Office Today

At Pfister Family Law, we have protected the rights of people across north Texas for more than 20 years. Board-certified in family law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization, attorney John J. Pfister, Jr. understands that every case is different and will take the time to learn the details of your situation. We will then carefully craft an individualized approach to help you get the outcome you want.

For an appointment with an experienced divorce and child custody lawyer, contact our office by e-mail or call us at (972) 370-5172.

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