Divorce Preparation: Were You Ready or Caught Unaware?


Planning for and Dealing with Divorce

Divorce preparation seems elusive for many people. Given the fact most people marry expecting their marriage to last, preparing for divorce is not on their minds. Yet, when spouses realize their marriage has not worked out, some consider divorce for a long time. They may consider it for years before filing.

On the other hand, how often have you heard a person say that their spouse told them they wanted a divorce, and they had never seen it coming?

Whether you were ready or caught unaware, if divorce is on your horizon, it is time to prepare. You should seek legal advice as soon as possible.

Divorce Preparation for All Aspects of Life

Preparing for divorce runs the gamut, from setting up separate living arrangements, and P.O. boxes for personal mail to gathering together legal documents and financial statements. Due diligence for finances can be extensive, including:

  • Making copies of credit card statements
  • Copying bank account statements
  • Opening new checking and savings accounts
  • Gathering documentation regarding investments
  • Applying for credit cards in your name only
  • Dealing with family home mortgage payments
  • Listing monthly expenses

The list goes on because the above is by no means a complete list. On a positive side, your divorce lawyer can advise you regarding divorce-related financial documentation.

Divorce and Your Children

If you have minor children, decisions must be made regarding child custody and child support. These decisions potentially affect you and your children for many years to come. In fact, the effect of divorce on children is often a parent’s greatest worry. Is there ever an upside to divorce?

There is, according to an article in Psychology Today. A psychologist interviewing college students from divorced families discovered students fell into three categories. She named the categories Modelers, Strugglers and Reconcilers. Modelers copied their dysfunctional parents’ behavior patterns. Strugglers were cautious about trusting romantic partners and wary of what to expect. Reconcilers strove to learn from their parents’ mistakes and not repeat them.

She also noticed three different relationship patterns for these groups of students. Modelers had limited insight into their parents' problems. Strugglers became more distanced from parents after divorce and received little communication or emotional support from them. Reconcilers remained close to their parents and had open communication with them. As a result, they were more likely to avoid the same mistakes and could create successful relationships and marriages.

As parents, continuing to establish close relationships with your children is vital for their well-being even after divorce.

Seek advice from an experienced family law attorney

If you’re concerned about preparing for divorce, our attorneys at Pfister Family Law can provide you with legal advice based on decades of experience.

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